I have discovered the most luscious food known to mankind. And I discovered it completely by accident.
In my diverse travels, my path often crosses with that of an extremely high-brow, classy restaurant, whose famed decor typically features mustard yellow and ketchup red. Gourmet burgers are their specialty, but many other snobs stick up their patrician noses at such fare. Apparently, the quality is so above them, that they can’t even imagine rising to that level. I, however, am high-class. Therefore, I feel completely at home.
Ordering my standard gourmet entree, the glorious Mcdouble (pronounced Mac-due-blah), my gum-chewing waiter suggests that I drive my mini van to the front of the restaurante (I am a favorite at this establishment, and they know that I do not have plebian tastes. Therefore, I am often asked to wait, as this is a sign of superior restaurants).
Moments pass. I wait patiently. (Another sign of class). I only blow my horn once. Sort of a nice touch, I think. Just letting the staff know I appreciate them and their food. This seems to gladden their hearts, for suddenly, my McDouble arrives. (See above for correct pronunciatione). I drive away, well-pleased. Smiling in anticipation, I sink my teeth into my beautiful McDouble…with bacon?!
I have been duped. Conned. Utterly back-stabbed by my favorite gourmet burger place. However, I am polite. And hungry. So I eat the nasty, common burger with nasty, common bacon…that literally turns my McDouble into a completely symphony, featuring Master Bacon as the soloist. My tastebuds sing along in rapturous delight.
It was that very moment that changed my life forever, and led me to adopt a new motto:
To which I would add: “And make a Bacone Mac-Due-Blah! You will never regret it…