Why My 10 Year Old Sister Doesn’t Believe in the Tooth Fairy

We have never been a completely skeptical family. In fact, half of us err on the side of laughable gullibility.

oragnes

This afforded my brother and I much innocent mirth – for 20 minutes.

Of course, the other half exists of die-hard skeptics, which makes for an interesting family dynamic. Even something as simple as “Hey, it’s snowing outside,” invites a debate worth of Socrates and Plato.

[Gullible one] “Hey, it’s snowing outside!”

[Skeptic] “No, it’s not.”

[Gullible one] “Um, yeah, it is.”

[Skeptic] “You said that last time, and it really wasn’t. It was sleeting.

[Gullible one] “Is there a difference?”

[Skeptic, after slight hesitation] “No. None at all. It’s all the same. Hailing, raining, snowing, sleeting…same dif. In fact, if it were to pour blue baby dinosaurs, the weather people would still label it under heavy rain.”

[Gullible one, gullibly] “Really?”

[Skeptic, no hesitation whatsoever] “Absolutely.”

We have no idea why the ratio scale of the gullible to skeptics is slowly starting to shift.

However, the entire family unites on one common topic – myths. There is no Santa Claus (sorry, kids) and definitely, beyond a doubt, positively never will be…a Tooth Fairy.

See this cute little lady? She's a fraud.

See this cute little lady? She’s a fraud.

Don’t get me wrong – we aren’t entirely jaded. We cede the possibility of Barney (who can honestly ignore a large, purple, freaky, dancing dinosaur) and confess to outlandish imaginations…but a Tooth Fairy?

We’d like to believe in her, we really would. But unfortunately, she’s been frightfully inconsistent, leaving some doubts about her reliability.

First of all, she’s never on time. On one occasion, one unnamed unfortunate waited three weeks for her to show up. Three weeks of feeling hopefully under their pillow, only to be cruelly disappointed, three weeks of shaking said pillow, hoping against hope it would clink, three weeks of searching under my bed…

Where were we? Oh yes. Tooth Fairy. Okay, she’s always late, but secondly…I thought she was supposed to be an ethereal little lady.

Puh-lease. Our Tooth Fairy blunders into doors, trips over dirty clothes, repressing a volatile “Doggone it!” and careens into our pillows. She then creeps out stealthily, cackling over yet another successful reconnaissance mission.

Last but most definitely not least, she leaves the tooth. Now to be fair, there were requests in the past that the tooth be left. After all, ten years in one’s mouth is a long time, and one might conceivably miss the chompy little rascal. However, the skeptics among us believe that if even the Tooth Fairy doesn’t want the toothwe’ve got problems. It’s in her stinkin’ job description.

These three reasons are probably what led to this:

Pardon the strong language. She's only ten.

Pardon the strong language. She’s only ten.

Take notice, Tooth Fairy.

Advertisements

About loverofwords20

Allison is an aspiring author, and a lover of words, music, and the Lord Jesus Christ. She is also abysmal at these “about you” things, being unable to think of quirky characteristics at the drop of a hat. However, she enjoys singing randomly and loudly, and laughing hysterically while being caught in the rain.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Why My 10 Year Old Sister Doesn’t Believe in the Tooth Fairy

  1. apeslugger says:

    People tell me I’m gullible, and I believed them. *rim shot* *pity laughs* XD

  2. Hehe! I always enjoy reading your posts. That letter is still so hilarious. In our family everyone but my mom are skeptics. She is completely gullible. 🙂 I’m mistaken for gullible because I’m terrible at sarcasm. I’m so quick to take people at their word. Maybe I’m just plain gullible? Eh, i’ll stick with thinking I’m not.:-)

    • Thanks. 😀 Haha! I think it’s pretty common in bigger families – it couldn’t be that the older ones completely ruin the poor young ones? Nah. And you’re probably not – the gullible ones never think they are. 😉

  3. ; says:

    Okay, this is really funny. Is she your only sister or do you have more?

  4. ; says:

    Wow. You are blessed.

    • I couldn’t agree more. And when you add my three brothers…God is good. An introvert by nature, it’s so nice not to have to seek out best friends, because the majority of them already live with me. 🙂

  5. ; says:

    So there’s the one that wrote this letter, you and three other girls AND three boys?!? Eight kids?!? Your kidding me!

  6. ; says:

    I think your right about siblings being best friends. I used to have a twin sister but she died a few years ago.

    • There are eight of us; we are never bored. 🙂 And I am so sorry about your sister – it feels as though death always comes far too soon. We’re never quite ready to give them up.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s